Ooooh. Pointy!

The gnomes of Ardania are an interesting race. They live to serve and do so without complaint. They are more industrious than most peasants and can greatly decrease the time required to erect buildings. Although gnomes sometimes see themselves as brave, the are actually quite cowardly. When they do end up in battle, their part in it is normally short-lived... as are they. Like all the heroes they do show remarkable bravery when defending their home.

Unfortunately, gnomes are also weak, have less than a firm grasp on reality and questionable personal hygiene.

One look at the Gnome Camp should show you why most folks don't like having them around. At the same time, their ability to perform manual labor is a great asset to a growing kingdom. While they are also willing to die in defense of the kingdom they have a greater tendency to do so than other heroes. Even the mightiest of Gnomes is a poor match for the creatures of Ardania.

Read some letters below concerning the Gnomes.


Typical Gnome HovelI go build now!


The Gnome's Tale

To the Vizier of His Majesty, the King Lord Sovereign of Ardania;

I am writing on behalf of the Concerned Citizens of Mayhew, to bring to your attention the disturbing situation that exists in our fair city, one that I am sure you will find distressing. This morning, as I hitched up my pony, I was accosted by a pair of foul-smelling gnomes asking me if they could have my pony's dung! (Someone ought to talk to those gnomes…any carpenter worth his salt knows that mud makes far superior wattle and daub than manure.)

What kind of world do we live in where decent law-abiding citizens have to be hassled at every turn by vile, lazy, agonizingly smelly gnomes? It's bad enough that we have to watch property values plummet every time a gnome family decides to renovate, but must our noses suffer the consequences as well?

We request that the King send a legion of his finest soldiers to put an end to these foul creatures. Now I am a tolerant man, Dauros knows, but these gnomes have gone too far.

I eagerly await the King's garrison, and shall begin preparations immediately;

Ulf Mangolin
Apprentice Cooper
Village of Mayhew

From the Office of the Vizier to His Majesty, the King, Lord Sovereign of Ardania;

Concerned citizens of Mayhew;

The King has reviewed your request, and we are sorry to say, we will not be sending a garrison of soldiers to flush the gnomes from Mayhew. While the King appreciates your plight, he feels strongly that it is not in the best interests of the kingdom to rid Ardania of gnomes. A kingdom thrives or flounders on the strength of its citizenry and, while we all have troubles with gnomes from time to time, you must realize that they provide valuable services to our kingdom.

Gnomes, while somewhat lacking in matters of personal hygiene, are diligent workers. They perform the most menial of tasks without complaint, scurrying to and fro. I daresay you couldn't find a human brave enough to do the work a gnome does for free!

When the spring rains come, and branches clog the sewers, you can be thankful that the gnomes are there to pick out the debris. When the heat of summer beats down upon Mayhew, you can be thankful that the gnomes have carefully tended to the town dump, cleaning away any rotting matter. Without gnomes who would keep the roadways clear of decaying leaves in autumn? Without gnomes, who would grow Gnome's Root? (My physician recently gave me an unguent made of Gnome's Root, which has worked wonders for my rheumatism and trick-knee. If only it didn't smell so powerful…but I digress…)

My point is that, in the opinion of His Majesty, the gnomes, while certainly one of the more pungent creatures in Ardania, are vitally important to our towns and cities. They provide His Majesty with unique service, for which he is thankful.

Count Henri R. Poughinstough
Assistant to the Vizier
Of His Majesty, the King
Lord Sovereign of Ardania



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