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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 4:43 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

Cooker, I have a suggestion for you. Given the relative location of the cities, could you edit your post to the effect that the brothers started out from East Cheswick? The paved road would explain how they are to manage the quicksand filled Central Plains.
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Tue Aug 12, 2003 11:32 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

those are disguised dragons.
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2003 12:10 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

I know that. What's your point?
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2003 12:18 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

so you meant for them to travel east to East Cheswick in dragon form and then assume human form? Well, they did what they did for a reason because a third dragon ( which was bickering as well ) was trying to get ahead of them, and they knew that. However, it did not help since someing really surpising ( maybe not to you ) will happen shortly.
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Wed Aug 13, 2003 12:28 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

I am afraid I will be formatting my computer for the upcoming semester today, so there will not be any input for a few days, I wish you can progress the story independent of me while My computer is out of commission

Sorry
Merlin "dawnweaver"

"I am melting ..."
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2003 2:38 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

I am composing now and something will be posted in by 6 PM eastern time.

DONE !

Any objection to my planning ?

by the way, tale said it's rather good.

[ 15. August 2003, 12:24 AM: Message edited by: Merlin the Black ]
 
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TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2003 11:30 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

Finally spent some time this morning reading through the entire story. So far, so good - there is decent build up and plot. I'm impressed by the amount of descriptive detail - it's obvious that a lot of thought was put into how the whole post-Cataclysm world is like.

I'll be watching this story and posting my comments in here as it goes along. So, thumbs up from the sidelines!

[ 15. August 2003, 12:31 AM: Message edited by: TaleSpinner ]
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Thu Aug 14, 2003 11:35 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

we happened to be online at exactly the same time ! LOL
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 12:15 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

A most interesting turn of events, Cooker.
Just how far south they went, though, is a matter of choice. The Southern Sea was pushed back by the Cataclysm; there is almost as much land south of the Sydrian Mountiains now as there is north.
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 12:51 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

The citadel crashed into the southern sea at end of the dragon war, forgotten but not lost. It is around 500 miles off the coast after the cataclysm, as stated by silverwing.

Thanks for your compliments falotar, and again, I do not like things to be straightforward, as they seldom are.

Please rest assured that the number 500 will be explained later.

[ 15. August 2003, 02:01 AM: Message edited by: Merlin the Black ]
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 1:42 am    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

quote:
"For Xyra is meant to be my ultimate villain. I created him for the purpose of matching wits against the best heroes any of us could come up with."
I would like to introduce:

Alexandria “Sliverwing”

Alexandria Sliverwing is among the a few creatures that have experienced the cataclysm first hand. She is one of direct descendents of Auricem of Sydrian, a part of the bloodline that battled with the prime deity for the dominance Ardania. She lived under the very nose of human prosecutors for a few hundred years, assuming various identities, Including Lady Kalmara of East Cheswick, a renowned alchemist.

She rose out of an egg that carried a strange sliver birthmark. She grew quickly after the demise of her father during the dragon wars and quickly raised though the rank in the white citadel, even at young age; she demonstrated amazing control of her magical abilities. A few years after the dragon war, she disappeared with the white citadel and almost every one of surviving gold dragons.

It is unknown to all how she survived the cataclysm and prosecution of the imperium, in fact, few even knew her existence. She is a legend even amongst the dragons. The security of information within the Imperium allowed her to observe human without being observed. Since few are even allowed to know history before the cataclysm.

I can write more, but that will spoil the story, so stay tuned.

Falotar, would you please give a brief background on your main hero, not the villain. since the background of the villain might be the ultimate surpise.
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 2:58 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

Very well, Cooker.
Amaru was the heir of a mixed legacy. His father, Jaspar, came of a long line of Wizards; his mother, Remedie, was a Healer whose family had been dedicated to Agrela since the Good Mother first came into the world. From them he inherited both magical prowess and respect for all living things. However, his life was wrenched away from a happy following of his father's trail. For his uncle, the archmage Jahram, had long been delving into the fordidden practice of teratogeny, and had demanded that his brother hand over his son for his experiments. Shocked and outraged, Jaspar refused and threatened to report him to the Conclave. Jahram retaliated by murdering his brother and his wife, and kidnaping Amaru, where he proceeded to alter his genetic code by infusing the essence of a rare species of red wolf from an archipelago in the Southern Sea.
For nearly three years afterwards, Amaru lived with his vile uncle and his two cousins, called only by the animal names Peregrine and Vixen. For a while his fear of them kept him manageable, but soon his burgeoning power and submerged anger began to erode this fear, threatening the Wizard's control. Fearful now in his turn, Jahram took his nephew to the Mountains of Doom, abandoning him there in the hopes that some monster would kill him.
Amaru was found by one of the many fire Dragons then inhabiting the Mountains of Doom. Her name was Ysultra, and she recognized him for what he was and what he might become. Intrigued, and sensing that more than chance was at work, she took him in and raised him as one of her own hatchlings.
One of the most ancient of her kind, she remembered the twilight days of the Dragon Kingdom, and Andraxal's last battle. she had not wasted her life gathering useless trinkets by destroying human settlements, as did so many of her kind in an endless lust for vengeance and power, but gathered together all that she could of the relics of the lost Kingdom.
When Amaru came to her, therefore, she saw in him the salvation of the Dragons. She found him a rapt pupil to her lessons of history and magic. She counseled him concerning his uncle, and how to deal with the hatred that was kiling him. He in turn awakened things in her which even she had forgotten - the love of life, the understanding of others, and the respect due to the gods and their creation. The knowledge of this strange relationship spread through the Mountains, and fire drakes everywhere whispered of it - the elder Dragon and the young, red-haired teratogenic. Some, unbelieving, came to view the marvel first hand, and one of these, jealous, attempted to slay them both. and it was Amaru, using a sword forged with earth-related Draconic magic, who slew the interloper.
However, this did indeed spell the end of that time. Relations became strained between Dragon and youth, and Amaru left rather than provide distress to Ysultra.
He then searched diligently for his uncle - not for revenge, for that desire had been quelled, but to prevent him doing more evil. It so happened that Jahram had pledged himself to another Dragon - Luminys Chillheart, the ice drake. So Amaru found himself caught up in the conflagration known as the Dragon Wars.
One night, before his uncle was to try infiltrated the dead city of Ashenford, Amaru had a dream in wich Agrela conferred on him the title of "Protecter of Mankind," and charged him with protecting the common people through the war. He worked hard, fought harder, and was the only one of his family to survive the war. Afterwards he was once again visited by Agrela, along with Dauros and Lunord. They reaffirmed his title, and empowered him to act as their agent in secret, correcting abuses wherever he met them. He faithfully obeyed this order, working with compassion to safeguard the people from the aftermath of the war. He was called Red Wolf by friend and foe alike, for his lupine traits had manifested themselves just prior to finding his uncle, and many were the corrupt noble and monster overlord who dreaded that name and the reserved, red-haired figure who owned it.
But even he had to die, Protector of Mankind though he was. In the Celestial Realm, he continued to study, for he guessed that a time might come when he would be needed. When Krypta and Fervus declared open war against the other gods, he petitioned the other gods to let him aid the cause of justice and life, but they in their pride refused. So he watched helpless as the Cataclysm destroyed the Ardania he loved, and a new, cruel order came to power.
At last the gods returned, and all seemed mended, but foreboding filled amaru's spirit. The absence of the gods had loosened the chains of many evil things bound beneath the earth since the World Birthing, and Amaru feared the catastrophe that might occur if they burst out . . .
There. I fear it's far too long-winded, but I wanted to be thorough - which I probably failed at also.
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Fri Aug 15, 2003 3:48 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

Thank you, Falotar, for the great deal of useful information you have given.

I am looking forward to your next post in Apocalypse and next chapter of ToF.

by the way, have you seen the private message ?

[ 15. August 2003, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: Merlin the Black ]
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 3:30 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

Comments:
I have a plot, but it involves dragons drive the villain out of Mayhew. I wish you could allow that. Do not worry, it will be convincing.
 
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Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2003 5:42 pm    Post subject: about Apocalypse Reply with quote Back to top

There we go, Falotar.

I am still working the bugs out of it. I think it would be fine when I am done. Please inform me if you like the plot. Again, it is not straightforward.

Enjoy:D

[ 16. August 2003, 07:00 PM: Message edited by: Merlin the Black ]
 
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