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ToF: A Deal with the Demon
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DragonWizard012



Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 424
Location: The Dragon's Castle of Rivendell

 PostPosted: Wed Oct 02, 2002 9:30 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

*As they watched Will fall on the rogues the ranger and paladin could only help but laugh.then they noticed 500,000 over DragonW's head

DragonW: ok this is getting annoying... (into a communication amulet) ARCHMAGE GET ME AN UNCURSE IT'S GETTING TO HEAVY...

Archmage appears from a rift in the air

Archmage: even though i didnt give you the BLESSING you did find my spell book... (mutters some words) ok time to get some revenge on that demon...

DragonW: well we might as well call in the wods... we have everyone else here.

(TaleSpinner comes crashing through the ceiling)

TaleSpinner: hello

Archmage: howd you get here?

TaleSpinner: Well my mom met my dad...

Archmage: no i mean, just come on...

(they start to walk as Pretty Cow and Wendy appear infront of them)

Pretty Cow: you need to work on your teleportation.

Wendy: (points at DragonW, Archmage, the paladins, the rouges and Will on top of them, and Talespinner)

Pretty Cow: um

[ 02 October 2002, 10:38 PM: Message edited by: DragonWizard012 ]
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Thu Oct 10, 2002 9:16 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

Loralty: *rapidly and worriedly* Press agents, press agents, we need coverage, how else can the world be assured that Adan gets a fair trial?
Demon #665: Who says he will? *Laughs uncontrollably.*
Loralty: Oh. Oh dear.
Demon: Bwahahahahaha! *Wipes sulfur from his eyes.* Here comes CNN Forumia.
*Sister Gloom comes up, surrounded by her skeleton camera crew.*
Sister Gloom: Ready to start when you are.
Loralty: Ah. I note that the reporter is of questionable alignment . . . where's Clarina when you need her?
Demon: Touring her future home! Haha!
Loralty: Pardon?
Demon: She's in Hell, halfwit. Where else would you expect a prejudiced reporter to wind up?
Loralty: Well, could you do me a favour and retrieve her? Normaly I would not term her as such, but I think a Paladin would have more objectivity on this trial than a Priestess.
Demon: My pleasure. *Produces a burning sword, which he uses to slice open a steaming vent in the ground. He reaches inside, feels around, and pulls a choking Clarina out by the throat.
Muffled Voice: My wife!
Loralty: Wife? And, demon, may I ask why you did this for me?
Demon: You really think she'll be objective? Ha! Ha! Hahahahahahahaha! Imagine the headlines after I win the trial: "Heretic Monk Hands Decision to Demon!"
*Loralty groans.*
Demon: I believe you mentioned a courtyard? *Teleports Loralty, Clarina, Sister Gloom, the ALS lawyer, the zombie, and the twelve Souls of the Damned into an Elven Lounge. The patrons, being in a mass stupour, pay no heed.*
Loralty: *weakly* Courthouse.
Demon: Whatever.
Loralty: *stalling* What about an audience?- a conscious audience?
Demon: There's the camera. I'm sure there's a large audience watching CNNF. *Tosses Loralty a gavel.* Get on with it.
 
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DragonWizard012



Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 424
Location: The Dragon's Castle of Rivendell

 PostPosted: Fri Oct 11, 2002 11:13 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

*DragonW climbs out of the hole cuts off the hand thats holding clarina but it's quickly replaced by a new one but this time it's not holding her.*

(He jumps back in the hole but realizing his mistake he pushes everyone back up. overly purfumed dark pink smoke rises as the Deamon' Mom appears. she looks alot like a Deamon but wields a skillet. she sits down on the Deamons side.)

Ytfihs: (to the rouges) is it too late to to work for Fluffy again?
 
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DragonWizard012



Joined: 23 Feb 2002
Posts: 424
Location: The Dragon's Castle of Rivendell

 PostPosted: Mon Nov 04, 2002 9:48 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

BANG

(A huge boulder appears over the lawyer's head and falls on him.)

DragonW: I get the distinct feeling that the Wizard woman met him. (1,000,000 PIES appear over DragonW's head.)

SovJ: WHAT THE BEEP HAPPENED?

Seth: code.

SovJ: YOUR ON A ROLE TODAY FIRST ELVES AND NOW BEEPING BOULDERS.

DragonW: you can have 100,000 of these coins. there getting on my nerves.

Seth: and the pies...

DragonW: It's going to the REBF.

Sovj: ok will sign it give me 1000 more coins and the pies and I'll resserect it.

Archmage: Um I have the spell...

(DragonW hands him the pies and coins and the easter bunny appears next to the ARchamge and takes his spellbook.)

[ 04 November 2002, 09:51 PM: Message edited by: DragonWizard012 ]
 
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Will the Spellcaster



Joined: 29 Apr 2002
Posts: 499
Location: Somewhere that I teleported too...

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 11:05 am    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

Loud Voice From Above: Hmmmm... what's this red dot... *click* (reading text) "Will the Fleet" That sounds like an Adept's name, but he looks like a Wizard!

LVFA #2: Oh, that's just an investigator from Cyberlore.

LVFA #1: WHAT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THEY WERE SENDING A *BLEEEEP* ING INVESTIGATOR!

*choking sound is herd*

LVFA #3: All right, all right, enough already I've been sent to take over your position as playtester. You've broken too many monitors.

LVFA: WHAT!!!??!???!!

*thump*
*another choking sound can be herd*

LVFA #2: OH, by the way, I decide that I'd insert a cloning divice in Hell.

LVFA: WHAT!!?????!?!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs off yelling*

LVFA #2:Wait! I was kidding!

LVFA #3: Me too!

*they run off after him*

*he comes back*

LVFA: Well, that took care of them! The old wait at the corner trick. Now they'll run off to Cyberlore yelling.

[ 09 November 2002, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Will the Spellcaster ]
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 1:06 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

*Loralty smashes his gavel onto the table which serves as a judge's stand.*
Loralty: Order! Order! Order in the court! I will thank you to stop throwing boulders, pies, coins and other miscellaneous objects at each other, or I will be forced to have Security clear the court!
Shifty: Security? *As if by magic, Cheech and Chong, the Stoned Veteran Guards, appear.*
Cheech: 'Sup, man?
Chong: *Hefts a bottle of Fervus Ale* All glory be to Dauros, and *Hic* -nour unto to his law. *Downs the entire brew.*
Loralty: Precisely. Now, then, this court is now in session. Would the lawyers like to review the jury?
The Demon's Lawyer: *Dusts the rock powder from hishead and replaces his hat; obviously no mere stone can even faze anyone so hard-deaded as an ALS lawyer.* Thank you, Your Honor. I find the jury satisfactory.
Zombie: Ugh. *Shambles out the door.*
Loralty: Hold it! The defense needs a judge!
SovJ: The -BLEEPING- ALS had better give me a lawyer, or I'll have them edited out of the system.
*At ALS headquarters, the loud and angry Voice is heard. They hurriedly dispatch another lawyer to Forumia.*
Jay's (New) Lawyer: *Holding a sandwich* What's going on? I was eatin' lunch!
Loralty: Do you find the jury acceptable?
*Jay's L. looks over at the jruy. The Souls of the Damned, their eyes filled with hatred, glare back at him.*
Jay's L.: Uh, what did the other lawyer say?
Loralty: He found them acceptable.
Jay's L.: Oh. Clearly a precedent has been set. I, too, find them acceptable.
Loralty: *mops his brow* Alllll right. Now, does either side have any evidence to present? No? How about witnesses?
Jay's L.: *Being part of the ALS, he is familiar with every suit in Ardania* Yes, Your Honor. Will the court please call Ytfihs Pordnioc to the stand?
*Ytfihs comes up apprehensively.*
Loralty: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you Dauros?
Ytfihs: Ummm...
Loralty: Just say "I do".
Ytfihs: Okay, I do, as long as I don't have to reveal business secrets.
Jay's L.: I object -
Loralty: Objection over-ruled. You were not intending to quiz him on his business practices, were you?
Jay's L.: Humph. Okay, Mr. Pordnioc, where were you on the night of the Time Before the Quest Started?
Ytfihs: I was at home, reading a book.
Jay's L.: I see. And did you receive a telephone call?
Ytfihs: Yeah.
Jay's L.: From whom?
Ytfihs: From some guy claiming claiming to be from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire."
Jay's L.: Ah. And did you speak to the contestant? if so, what was the question?
Ytfihs: Yeah. The question was, "What is 2 times 3?"
Jay's L.: And what did you answer?
Ytfihs: D - which was, uh, 600,000.
Jay's L.: In other words, not correct.
Ytfihs: Yeah. I thought it was a joke, didn't know it would come to this -
Jay's L.: Thank you, Mr. Pordnioc. That is all. Now then, as I have just proven, Mr. Pordnioc gave the demon the wrong answer, which in turn would the demon to give the host the wrong answer. Based on psychiatric studies of various demons, we can guess what his response was -
Demon's L.: I object. There is no need to cast a slur on my client.
Loralty: Objection sustained. You will kindly limit yourself to the facts, sir.
Jay's L.: But it is a fact! Oh well, never mind.
Demon's L.: I beg your pardon, but I would like to cross-examine the witness.
Loralty: Go right ahead - I mean, oh dear.
Demon's L.: Did I hear you say that you thought the cal was a joke?
Ytfihs: Yeah.
Demon's Lawyer: How do you know, Mr. Pordnioc, that it was not a joke?
Ytfihs: Well, I, uh -
Demon's L.: I see. No further questions, Your Honor. *Ytfihs returns gratefully to his seat.* You see, Your Honor, respected members of the jury, this whole program was an elaborate hoax. My client, believing he had an honest chance of winning, entered. However, when he found that the questions were rigged against him, he naturally sued the program. Alas, the program did not survive the suit.
Jay's L.: I object to calling mass murder a lawsuit -
Loralty: Do you have any eye-witnesses or evidence to prove it was a murder?
Jay's L.: The Sovereign -
Loralty: His Majesty cannot fit within these walls, cannot take the oath. So we cannot accept his testimony.
*Jay, watching the drama unfold, realizes that the decision does not seem to be going his way.*
SovJ: Loralty...
demon's L.: *continues smoothly* My client then sued the government of the country that allowed this vile centre of corruption to exist. Namely, Forumia's Sovereign, Jay Adan. Since the testimony of the witness shows that the program was a charade - well, I rest my case.
Loralty: I see. Does the jury find for or against the defendant?
SotD: GUILTY! GUILTY! THEY"RE ALL GUILTY!!
Loralty: I see. This court sentences the Sovereign to pay g100,000 to the Demon within . . . however many days the briefing says to. Court dismissed.
Shifty: Great. Now we're right back where we started from.
 
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Will the Spellcaster



Joined: 29 Apr 2002
Posts: 499
Location: Somewhere that I teleported too...

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 09, 2002 10:23 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

Ytfihs: I object
Loralty: You can't object. You're not a lawyer.
Ytfihs: Ok
(he walks over to the Demon's lawyer and whispers in his ear)
Jay's L: I object. The witness is possibly plotting against me or my client.
Loralty: Overruled.
Demon's L: I object.
Loralty:You can't object. The trial is over.
Ytfihs: Then I can object!
Loralty: No, you can't!

Then the whole court starts arguing over whether he can object or not.The whole thing is on TV and causes all the heroes to go there and take sides.
Cherik,Shifty and Ytfihs say he can object.Loralty says he can't.Saturnus want's Loralty to be shunned, so he says he can.Elania and Clarana don't like herctics, so they say he can. Preety Cow and Windy teleport in, and say he can't. The Easter Bunny comes and get's trampled. The Archmage runs in and tries to find his spellbook. He hears the argument and says that it doesn't matter. Every one gets mad at him and try to beat him up. The Rouges don't like that, so they start the argument again and say he can. The Paldians think they're up to somthing, so they say he can't. The Rouges get confused and run out the door to find some peace and quiet(as if there ever is any)The Paldians see them leave, so they run after them. Then a chase squad of drunken elves from the Lounge followes them, and every one gets teleported back to their rightful places.
 
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Will the Spellcaster



Joined: 29 Apr 2002
Posts: 499
Location: Somewhere that I teleported too...

 PostPosted: Tue Apr 01, 2003 8:27 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

Shifty: Hey, what was that?
someone: Hey what was that?
Loud Voice:I had to BEEP-in use a teleport button to BEEP BEEP-BLEEP you BLEEPY guys to your rightful places!!
Shifty: Oh
someone: Oh
Shifty: Oh man, not the copys again!!!+
Shifty's Copy:"
*then 2 Ytfihs comes in being chased by two Elanors
& two Claranias.*
C&E: GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE THIEF!!!!!
Copys:"
*then they spot Shifty & his copy*
C&E: YOU TOO , YOU SCOUNDRALS!!!
Copys:"
S&Y: Not again!!!
Copys:"
*then they run for there lives*
 
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Decorn1



Joined: 04 Jun 2003
Posts: 31

 PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2003 3:06 pm    Post subject: ToF: A Deal with the Demon Reply with quote Back to top

Suddenly, a caravan rides by, with 10 billion gold in it. Caravan Driver: Hey, I'm coming from Civilization 3! I got all the Aztecís money here. Where should I dump it? Jayís Lawyer: Hold everything! As a Sovereign, Jay has a right to ALL gold that is: 1. Not being held by a hero (Except for extortion means) 2. Not in a lair, or 3. Not lost because of a building or Tax Collector death That means itís his! (The 10 billion gold swirls up into the Ardainian Coffers. A rock golem leaps out of the ground suddenly and shouts that itís exceeding the Money Limit, but gets the Prima Guide stuffed into his mouth by Jay's Lawyer and just wiggles angrily and helplessly.) Sovereign Jay Adan and Seth from above: (To the Yahoo tune) YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Demon: I will take the gold, idiot. (

The demon takes the gold and vanishes in a puff of green smoke.) Long silence, as everyone contemplates the sudden ending to all of the problems currently present.

Shifty: That was quick.

Cherik: The Aztecs had a lotta gold, for sure.
Ytfhis: They musta invaded some other country.

THE END
 
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