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ToF: The Siege
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Lurn



Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 226

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 1:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

The Society for Unneccessarily Large Penguin Generation Experts was having a monthly meeting. This time, they were meeting with a representative of Borjin, the elven king of some keep or another. SULPGE really didn't care much who it was, since it was made of wizards.

That was, until the elven representative offered a deal.

"As you know, I represent Borjin's Kingdom. I wish to offer a deal to the Society for Unneccessarily Large Penguin Generation Experts." He paused and took a breath after saying the whole name. "We want ten thousand extremely large, ferocious penguins in two days time. In return, we will give one gold piece per penguin."

The wizards of SULPGE gawked. Someone actually wanted their help in doing something; even their area of expertise! And they were willing to pay gold for it!

The current chairwizard of SULPGE spoke.

"We . . . accept your proposal. We could have twenty thousand in that time, if you so wish."

"Excellent. Borjin will be pleased. At the end of forty-eight hours, send the army of penguins to the head of Borjin's fortress, with commands to obey anything Borjin or his servants say."

"The deal is made." The chairwizard and the elf shook hands, and the elf left.

"The first item on our agenda: Generate twenty thousand very large and ferocious penguins," the chairwizard addressed SULPGE's members.

Then, SULPGE started it's work.
_________________
"It simply doesn't happen. Period.
Why is that? Question mark."
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Day 2

*Outside the gate of Borjin's Palace.Yuan is leaning against the wall, again on the perpetual cell phone.*

Yuan: Minx?
Minx: Oh, it's you.
Yuan: Remember, today is the grand premier of the Director's Cut of Praise Dauros! I hope you will be on hand to help me welcome our special guests?
Minx: Hmm. Maybe. That depends on what welcoming them entails.
Yuan: That, my dear, is entirely up to you. Now, if you would be so kind as to put Borjy on the line -
Minx: He refuses to speak to you.
Yuan: But I just received a letter from Sludge, confirming the order of *checks the letter, which he had intercepted and steamed open* twenty thousand giant penguins.
Minx: Sludge? Oh, you mean SULPGE. And that should be ten thousand giant penguins.
Yuan: Ah, but the Chairwizard of Sludge has decided that, in view of this being the first ever order from his Society, to give us double the birds for the same price. The trouble is that, since Borjy seems to have misplaced his coffers -
Minx: You mean, "since you emptied them".
Yuan: You shouldn't bring up superfluous details, my dear. Anyway, old Borjy is going to be unable to pay these Sludge fellows. That is why, out of the goodness of my heart -
Minx: You have a heart?
Yuan: *sounded wounded* You wound me, Minx. Yes, I have a heart, and in excelent condition. You should have known that; Bluestar Enterprises is one of the top ten Ardanian charities. We are dedicated to helping little old widows, orphaned children, and displaced farmers resettle into society.
Minx: Mm-hm. And just what does your charitable heart suggest?
Yuan: We're stepping up the Vacation Scam. I want all the wives in the Keep to vanish, and all the husbands to start reaching for their belt-pouches. All right?
Minx: Whatever.
Yuan: Wonderful! See you at the Lounge!
_________________
"Death awaits you!" - Maester Seymour, from Squaresoft's Final Fantasy X[i]
 
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TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 8:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(Before Cooker can answer the chaotic wizard Lurn, SovJ's voice booms from above.)

SovJ: Ah, about -bleep!-ing time! Cooker! I was looking for you!
Cooker: Yikes! (immediately casts Anti-Magic Shield)
SovJ: (crossly) No -bleep!-ing no! I wasn't looking for you for that!
Cooker: That's a relief, your majesty. (relaxes slightly, but conviniently forgets to turn off his Anti-Magic Shield)
SovJ: Now, I need you to- who the -bleep!- is this!?

(Lurn kept looking around for the source of the voice before realising that it was the almighty Sovereign's voice from above. Unaccustomed to such direct attention, he immediately apologised and introduced himself as a fellow wizard.)

SovJ: (blinks) Why the -bleep!- doesn't he use dialogs like the rest of us!?
Cooker: (shrugs) Beats me, your majesty. You Cyberloreans are the programmers.

(Lurn humbly apologised for not knowing why he spoke as he did. "Besides," he added, "I think it allows me to describe myself better.")

SovJ: (muttering) It has to be Seth's fault. -bleep!-ing moron keeps adding more things into this -bleep!-ing game than I can test! Now, what the -bleep!- was I going to do?
Cooker: Umm.. you were saying that you weren't going to blast me to death?
SovJ: Right! I need to wipe out a certain keep off the face of the game minimap and I'll need one of your infernal machines to do it.
Cooker: (bows) I'm always at your disposal to blow anything up, your majesty.

(Lurn also expressed his willingness to assis-)

SovJ: Shut the -bleep!- up! Now, Cooker, you might have heard from CNNa that we're now at war with Borjin's Keep. I've just spent the past two Days trying to entice you -bleep!-ing heroes with Reward flags on Borjin's buildings but so far no one has responded because they're either on some -bleep!-ing honeymoon vacation, or they're scared -bleep!-less because of Borjin's defences.
Cooker: I have heard that Borjin's Keep has well over 4000 hitpoints, your majesty.
SovJ: Yeah, you and the rest of you -bleep!-ing heroes. Anyway, I need you to build something that we can use to get through Borjin's defences. Like a big -bleep!-ing thermal -bleep!-ing nuclear -bleep!-ing device, or something, you got that?
Cooker: (listens between the bleeps and suddenly remembers that project which he assigned his sole apprentice wizard) Ahh.. I think I might have an idea, your maje-
SovJ: Good! Now get to work before I -bleep!-ing change my mind and blast you instead!

("That's some way to motivate people," said Lurn as the almighty presence of SovJ shifted away. "I'll be willing to lend you a hand.")

Cooker: Uh? What? Sorry, I wasn't reading what you said.
 
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TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(CNNa Newsflash blazes across the screen.)

Sister Gloom: This is Sister Gloom outside of Borjin's Keep. A Day after the declaration of war on Borjin's Keep, the Sovereign's forces, led by the Dauros Divine Network, and consisting of a surprising number of unmarried heroes, have arrived and surrounded the keep. Several initial forays into Borjin's infamous defences have been attempted and so far all have been unsuccessful.

(Scene shows a group of warriors running away from a lightning storm while shrieking, "Call in the re-inforcements!" A loud voice can heard swearing overhead, "You -bleep!-ing warriors are the -bleep!-ing re-inforcements, you stupid -bleep!-s!")

Sister Gloom: I have with me the leader of the DDN contingent, Eleanor the Vigilant. (turns to Eleanor) What is the latest progress?
Eleanor the Vigilant: We are now at a temporary standstill. Our initial attempts to peacefully resolve this issue by sending in DDN Weapons inspectors have been rejected, and so it is my opinion that we're all in for the long haul.
Sister Gloom: On personal opinions, as one who upholds the ideals of justice and law, do you believe that Borjin has intentions of building and using weapons of mass destruction?
Eleanor: (frowns) Well, it's hard to say at this point. One must admit that it is a tall notion to accept, like that time the Sovereign declared war on plagarism, but, personally, I think-

(a skeletal hand passes a note to Sister Gloom.)

Sister Gloom: (takes and reads the note) I apologise for the interruption, but a group comprising of a WoD, two unidentified ratmen and the members of the Forumnian Rogue's Guild, namely Shifty Coindrop, Ytfihs Pordnoic and Cherik of Keldurn have been sighted entering Borjin's Keep.
Eleanor: (fuming) WHAT!? How did they get past- nevermind! That clears all my doubts completely! If Borjin can harbour such dirt-minded perverts, of course he'll be harbouring weapons of mass destruction! Now, if you excuse me, I've got some orders to issue. (runs off)
Sister Gloom: It seems that the Sovereign's forces are going to re-double their efforts in this siege. However, the question remains on how are they going to get past the seemingly impregnable defences of Borjin's Keep. This is Sister Gloom, Forumnia.
 
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Venstar Trailblazer



Joined: 27 Apr 2003
Posts: 600
Location: Harrisburg,PA

 PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(Galen, Borjin, and Concus are standing on the wall, looking down at the oncoming army.)
Galen: Grandpa, aren't those our friends?
Concus: No, it's the DDN.
Galen: But they work for the Soveriegn Jay, shouldn't we help?
Concus: They took away my army, they can shove a (Bleep!) up all their (Bleep!)s!
Borjin: Concus, you had an army?
Concus: (Bleep!) straight!
Borjin: Touchy touchy.
Galen: Moving along... Borjin, have you seen a Cultist, a Paladin, and a Monk with the word "Insane" in their names?
Borjin: Oddly familiar...
Concus: How about a monk named Saturninus?
Borjin: Maybe... Why?
Galen: He kidnapped the rest of our living family.
Borjin: (Rolling his eyes) Tragic.
Concus: If you help us find our family, we'll fight at your defences.
Borjin: Right this way.
(They three walk off.)
_________________
Gimli:Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas:What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli:Aye. I could do that.

Gandalf:Here at last, on the shores of the sea comes the end of our Fellowship.
 
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TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 10:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(in a forest some miles away from Borjin's Keep)

Baxi LongStrider: (lifts a tape-recorder) Ranger's log, KA 1501.05. It has been several hours since our arrival to this part of the forest. Our first observation is that all the monsters and animals that usually inhabit this forest seem to have all disappeared. I have sent the apprentice rangers to scout out the area and report back anything strange.

(someone appears out of the undergrowth and approaches Baxi)

Ranger Apprentice#1: Sir! I found strange tracks down this way, sir!
Baxi: Good work! Let me take a look (follows the ranger apprentice some ways before stooping to investigate some tracks) Hmm.. made by some large creature.. maybe a Troll, although I don't recall ever seeing trolls wearing high-heels..

(some crashing through the bushes as two other ranger apprentices appear)

Ranger Apprentice#2: (panicked) Sir! Sir! There's something out there!
Baxi: (snaps) Calm down, rookie! Tell me what you saw.
Ranger Apprentice#3: (panting) We were following what looked like a trail of blood when we heard strange howls that started coming closer towards us.
Baxi: Howls? Like what?
Ranger Apprentice#2: (shudders) Nothing like I've ever heard before. But it sounded like "Trog! Trog! Trog!".
Baxi: (intriguied) A howl that sounds like "Trog"? Hmm.. not like anything I've ever heard of before..

(scene changes to first-person perspective of someone watching the rangers from the tree-tops above like a scene from "Predator". There is the sound of heavy breathing and a thumping heart-beat as the person growls and spits something down at the rangers.)

Baxi: (turns as an object drops down next to him) What the..? (sees that the object is a goblin head wearing a jester's hat and an expression of frozen terror)

(The rangers all look up in horror as the person drops down from the trees. The screams and shouts echo through the forest.)
 
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Lurn



Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 226

 PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 12:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Borjin's assistant secretary Horhi Northwind was still handling the financial consequences of having to loan twenty thousand gold pieces from the International Elven Banks of Ardania (IEBoA) for Borjin's penguin army.

IEBoA required that any who loan from their banks start repaying the loan only a week after loaning. Every month afterward, until the loan was payed, a package containing 99.99 gold must be sent to IEBoA.

Borjin, not knowing of Minx and Yuan's plans, found that the problem was too difficult to deal with, assigned it to Horhi.

It's so much easier, isn't it, to not have to deal with any real problems? So why not dump any excess impossible problems on Horhi Northwind? Oh, yes, very easy, very easy . . . well, not for Horhi, but who cares what he thinks? thought Horhi, as he sat in his small office.

Grumbling, Horhi leaned back in his office chair. Suddenly, he had an idea. One-hundred gold pieces has to be sent to IEBoA in a week, and more every month, but does it have to be Borjin's gold? No, it could easily be someone else's. Sovereign Jay's, perhaps. Horhi smiled a crooked, somewhat disturbing smile.

He quickly started to walk out of the room, to talk with his contact in the local rogues' guild. He didn't want any of the local rogues for the job, but he needed a channel to the underground elements of Ardania. He wanted the best, and to find the best, Horhi would have to find the three rogues Shifty, Ytfihs, and Cherik.
_________________
"It simply doesn't happen. Period.
Why is that? Question mark."
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Mon Nov 29, 2004 9:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

*Shift scene to a no-man's land of barbed wire, trenches, and craters in front of Borjin's Keep. Except for the occasional sound of harp and organ music, there is silence. Then, a single voice says "Energies of Light!"*
Elf Captain: *kneeling in a trench with another twenty or so Elves* What was that?
Elf Cadet: Sounded like a Paladin.
Elf Captain: Nonsense. After that last Lightning Storm, all the DDN got Resurrected back to their base Guilds. It'll take them at least another -
*Four shapes appear out of a crater. The only things visible are the Shield of Light and anto-Magic Shield icons flickering above their heads.
Elf Sentry: *atop a smouldering Guardhouse* Identify yourselves!
First Figure: Annette the Keen!
Second Figure: Edwina, Fist of Dauros!
Third Figure: Justine the Stalwart!
Fourth Figure: Kayt the Vindicator!
All Four: *raise swords* DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE PERVEEEEERTS!
Elf Captain: *panicking* Fire! Fire! Fire everything! Don't let these freaks get near us!
*Mass twang as all the Elves fire at once. the Paladins come on, unfazed.*
Random Elf: Our arrows have no effect! What are they?
Another Elf: Victory is not in the cards!
Elf Captain: Retreat! Fall back! Get the -bleep- outta he- AHHHHHHHHRGH!
*Screams of terror followed by a mass chorus of "No fun, at all ... " echo throughout the wasteland. Meanwhile, an Elven Guard is sitting in the Control Tower, monitoring the battle with security cameras mounted in the Guardhouses. Only, to judge by his relaxed position and even breathing, he is not overly assiduous in his duties. Suddenly an infamous warcry rips through the room, followed by unearthly screams and death-lines.*
Elven Guard #2: *snapping to alertness* What the -bleep-? *Zooms in the camera on Guardhouse #20.* Great Fervus, what could have caused such devastation? *A figure walks into the view of the camera, and the Elf Guard cringes.*
Kayt: *shakes her fist* I hope you're watching, Borjin! I and the counterstrike team do not intend to stop until we've seperated your pointy-eared head from your blue shoulders!
Annette, Edwina and Justine: *leveling up as they destroy the Guardhouse* Praise Dauros! *The screen goes black*
EG#2: *gulp*
_________________
"Death awaits you!" - Maester Seymour, from Squaresoft's Final Fantasy X[i]
 
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Venstar Trailblazer



Joined: 27 Apr 2003
Posts: 600
Location: Harrisburg,PA

 PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(The screen shifts to Borjin leading Galen and Concus down a couple of flights of stairs.)
Borjin: Right this way.
(They continue down until they reach the cargo elevater's control panel. A couple of elven gaurds are sitting around.)
Borjin: Men, tell me about the Paladin, Monk, and Cultist you saw tied up!
Elven Gaurd: We put them back in the elevator... we didn't think you'd want them.
Concus: Well he... we want them.
EG: Sure. (He presses a few buttons. The door opens.)
Galen: (Catches the bodies that fall out and rips off all bondages.) Hi guys! Long time, no see.
Veti: We haven't seen anything for weeks.... What took you so long?
Concus: We are atleast one hundred miles from where you were captured.
Bob: Nice, real nice. Let me geuss, Another ToF already started.
Galen: Welcome to ToF: The Siege! I hope you have a nice stay.
(Everyone looks at Galen, blankly.)
Borjin: Well, I held up my end of the deal, now you hold up yours.
Concus: (To Veti, Clare, and Bob) We must fight the DDN, they are invading this Keep.
Clare: .... Fine.
(The Insane family is lead up to the Warrior's guild outside the Gate of Borjin's Keep.)
Borjin: Good luck.
_________________
Gimli:Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas:What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli:Aye. I could do that.

Gandalf:Here at last, on the shores of the sea comes the end of our Fellowship.
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

*Borjin's Keep, third sub-floor, suite twenty. Loralty is seen sitting in the receiving room of the suite, which, thanks to the Palace decor, is modelled on a throne room.*
Loralty: *setting the scroll he was reading down and leaning back into the velvet-lined throne* Ahhhh ... I always thought thrones were supposed to be uncomfortable. Maybe Mew was right ... I just hope that this is free.
*As he says this, he receives a telepathic call from Mew.*
Mew: - Actually, Lor, there seems to be a price after all. -
Loralty: What? Where are you? What are you -
Mew: - I'm in the elevator, with a blindfold around my eyes, being kidnapped by the Bluestar Triad. -
Loralty: What in the Celestial Realms is that?
Mew: The Triad? Oh, they're elite Elven Ninja employed by Yuan Bluestar for his special ops missions. -
Loralty: *groaning* I knew that this was a ba-
Mew: - Don't be silly, Lor. You'll just rescue me, and we'll go on with our honeymoon like nothing happened. After all, I doubt that the DDN will attack the sub-floor. -
Loralty: Rescue you? How can i rescue you if I do not -- wait a minute. Did you say the D.D.N.?
Mew: - Yes, who else? They're attacking Borjin's Keep. I'm surprised -- even without ppsychic powers, I was sure you could feel the waves of mindless animal rage emanating from them. -
Loralty: *feeling faint* Oh. No. I -- guess not.
Mew: - Oh, don't worry about it. Just rescue me before this kidnapping becomes tedious. -
Loralty: Tedious - ? *Sighs.* I shall never understand her.
 
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Shifty Coindrop



Joined: 21 Sep 2000
Posts: 204
Location: Duncanville, TX, USA

 PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(In the meantime, the Forumnian Rogues and their guests Rattensford, Cucarouche and Talespinner received a warm welcome at Borjin's Keep. Waiting for them is Yuan and Minx amongst the welcoming committee.)

Yuan: Gentlemen, Gentlemen, welcome to Borjin's Keep! This is er... Borjin's personal secretary Minx Rarecatch.
Minx: How do you do? (She smiled and nodded to them)
Yuan: Minx, this is of course Shifty Coindrop, Ytfihs Pordnioc and Cherik of Keldurn. And the rest are...
Shifty: Comrades Rattensford and Cucarouche of the United Sewerists Republic, and last but nowhere near least, Talespinner the Mildly Insane.
Rattenford: Greetings.
Cucarouche: Hey dere.
Talespinner: Hi.

(Yuan shakes each of their hands, and starting with Minx afterwards a small procession of Elfmaids start handing out welcome gifts to each of the party members. Minx gave them each a small stack of complementary Poker Chips usable at any and all Borjin's Keep Gambling Halls; the elfmaid after her put on them leis made of lots of dried Elfweed- although she had some trouble fitting them on the Ratmen, especially when Cucarouche tried to light it, and Talespinner. After that came the paper gift bag full of Borjin's Keep souvenirs and a whole bunch of coupons for free Lounge Enterntainment and drinks there.)

Talespinner: (After making an effort to count his poker chips he starts wandering off) Cor! Sovereign's Wheel, here I come!
Shifty: Hold it, hold it... (grabs and stops Talespinner) We've got a business meeting and after that, there's lots more fun you don't want to miss out on.
Talespinner: Er... I don't know much about business, and what could be more fun than Sovereign's Wheel?
Yuan: How about a tour of the Keep's local Bluestar Plantation© branch, complete with exclusive gifts and then all sorts of Lounges and Gambling Halls? You'll get even more chips if you stick around.
Talespinner and Cucarouche: Oooooh...
Rattensford: (Sighs and rolls eyes) Why I am here in this den of capitalism?
Cherik: Because you have been exploiting capitalism to improve the lot of your kin in the sewers?
Rattensford: Point taken.
Ytfihs: Nice place ye got here Yuan. What's up with the Lightning Storms?
Yuan: Oh, nothing you gents have to worry about. Just had to repel the Sovereign's military offensive, especially the DDN.
The Rogues, Ratmen and Talespinner: The DDN!? -BLEEP!!-

(At this point "Die Perverts!" can be heard screamed in a chorus in the distance, followed by Elven screams and "No fun, at all...")

Shifty: (Takes hold of Yuan by his collars) Yuan, Yuan, Yuan... The DDN is something we *all* have to worry about, especially if they find out about tonight's special debut.
Ytfihs: E's right man. It's never too old... the moment Eleanor sees a footage she goes all berserk and her abilities increase.
Yuan: (Takes Shifty's hands off his collar) I assure you gentlemen, *nothing* will breach Borjin's Keep uninvited.
Cherik: The letter mentioned the Special Edition Directors' Cut being shown on Elf-MAX. That is quite a large display Sir, perhaps even enough for the DDN outside the keep to see it. And if they do... Raging Barbarians will seem tranquil in comparison.
Minx: I think they may have a point there... Mister Bluestar.
Yuan: Hmm... You all may have point indeed. I'll just have to tell the guards to step up their watch.
Shifty: Thank you.
Talespinner: Hey, why are there so many married people around?
Rattensford: What are you talking about WoD?
Talespinner: (Points at all the assorted couples with his blade stick) Look...

(Camera briefly switches to a landscape shot of all eight surrounded by honeymooning couples enjoying themselves in Borjin's Keep.)

Yuan: Oh that... basically we cooked up a defense and revenue scheme that involves free vacations here for married Heroes. They end up defending the Keep if it ever actually gets damaged, and on top of that we kidnap the wives and the husbands fork over gold for them.
Shifty: Hmm, the kind of idea I'd probably come up with if I had control of a small keep myself.
Ytfihs: I dunno, there's something about that worries me...
Cherik: Are you having moral qualms about the scheme, Sir?
Ytfihs: No no, not that... just something about married couples that worry me, just don't recall it yet.
Talespinner: Commitment is pretty scary.
Ytfihs: No, not that either.
Rattensford: At least we won't have to worry about Paladins coming in here. Most of them are so devout and uptight they wouldn't think of getting married.
Cucarouche: When are we gonna get da meetin' don so we can get to da plantashun toor?
Ytfihs: Paladin... married... oh Great -Bleep-ing Fervus!!
Shifty: (His eyes widen as he realizes Ytfihs's implication) Yuan... we might have a... situation here...
Yuan: What do you mean? I don't like that tone of voice...
Cherik: Mister Bluestar. You must check the registry of all the honeymoon couples and see if there is a Clarina, Holy Reporter listed.
Minx: (Staring accusatory at Yuan) You didn't tell the registrars to check for that Propaganda Queen did you!?
Yuan: (Whimpers) I didn't know Paladins actually got married...
Cucarouche: Eet wos a real shockah when I heard about it meself, mon.
Talespinner: I'm supposed to be an insane killing machine that can't grasp the concept of fear, but those DDN Paladins scare me.
Shifty: You've never been subjected to their special treatments either.
Yuan: (Sighs and slaps a palm over his face) Minx, get them to check the guestbooks, and if she *is* here then I want the Triad to take her down before her friends in the DDN contact her. We do not need an insider letting those zealous psychos in.
Rattensford: Especially not with the premier tonight.
Minx: (Sighs) All right Mister Bluestar. (Huffs and rushes off to get her assignment done)

(At this point a most unholy and bestial roar spills in the air, followed by human screams and a chorus of "I join the wild spirits...")

Ytfihs: What the -BLEEP- was that!?
Yuan: I don't know, and I don't want to know. How about we get to the meeting so we can proceed to the good times as soon as we can?
The Guests: Sounds good.

(And so Yuan leads them towards the meeting place.)
 
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DragonWarrior012



Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 10

 PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2004 10:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

*Scene of a makeshift camp outside Bourjin's palace. Eleanor walks into the "fort". Clarina Holy Reporter is looking through binoculars at the palace. DragonWizard is tying a firebalm to the end of an arrow.*

Eleanor: How's the artillery doing?
Clarina: *Still looking through the binoculars* We haven't been able to breach the lightning storms. *Suddenly changing her tone to that of a three year old* Can I kill some perverts now? I promise to only kill twenty.
Eleanor: Tempting but I need you to watch for when the storms let up. Then you two can kill as many as you like.
*Clarina cheers*
DragonW: Any word from the SS?
Eleanor: They've infiltrated the base from the inside.

(Scene cuts to inside of a Goblin Suite. Two SS agents are dressed up badly in a peansent couple's uniforms.)

SS Husband: *Into a communication amulet* They've taken all the wives for hostages. My partner is doing the best she can to fight them off but we're outnumbered.

Eleanor: We've uncovered copies of Praise Dauros in their outposts, if that's an insentive to fight harder.

(A fiery explosion is seen from within the castle. It begins to rain blue blood.)
_________________
You're making us angry, Precious. You want like us when we're angry.
- Smeagol
- LegendaryFrog.com
 
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Venstar Trailblazer



Joined: 27 Apr 2003
Posts: 600
Location: Harrisburg,PA

 PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

(The blue blood counters the lightning storms and they come to a stop.)
Clarina: (Bleep!)! There goes our cover.

(More shouts of "Die Perverts!" can be heard coming closer.)

Bob: Time to show everyone what we are made of!
Galen: (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Theme is heard in backround.) Insane-zords activate! (A spark flies of of his head. Power Ranger's theme stops.) (Bleep!). I was hoping that would work.

(Wave of DDN Paladins are seen charging over a hill. Elven Gaurd posts start firing arrows, slowly decreasing the DDN number. The Shouts of "Die Perverts!" gets even closer.)

Concus: Draw your weapons. Prepare for battle!
Veti: I never thought I would die for good fighting side by side with a monk...
Bob: How about a brother who could care less?
Veti: Aye, I could do that. (A tear comes down his cheack.)
Galen: We who are about to die salute you!
Clare: We are not about to die, and we don't salute the DDN!
(The line of DDN is within a few steps of the Insane Family.)
Bob: Just to let you all know.... If we die here you need to hear this.... I hate all of you except for mother.
Veti: Momma's boy.
Bob: You're just jealous.
Veti: So?
Concus: Charge!
(With the help of the elven gaurd houses, the Insane Family starts to repel the DDN.)
(The scene shifts to the DDN outpost.)
Random Highrank DDN officer: (Looks at the next wave, which consists of hundreds of members.) This wave should hold until Cooker's "thing" comes. Women are you ready?
Army of DDN members: YES MAM'!
RHR DDN Officer: Move out! (She solutes the troops.)
(Scene shifts back to the Insane Family, first wave is destroyed.)
Concus: That wasn't so hard. Is that the best you got, oh powerful DDN!?
Clare: Seriously!
(Concus's comunicater band on his wrist starts to ring.)
Concus: Hello?
Elven Gaurdhouse Comander: You did wonderfully.
Concus: Thank you, sir!
EGC: Our monitors are picking up oncoming waves.... wave. It is consisting of one hundred or so Paladins. We have elves working to get the Lightning storms up and running again. We have a small group of well trained super soldiers coming to help you. In addition, the gaurdhouses will still support you. One more thing soldier.
Concus: Yes?
EGC: You have a small group of indestructable super paladins moving on your position... we are working on finding their weak point now... over and out.
Concus: We are in massive trouble. (Elf Super Soldiers arive.)
Lead Elf: We will be of much help to you... we are still waiting on the army of Large Penguins, though...
(They stop conversing, a sea of DDN members can be seen coming, lead by Kayt and her band of indestructable Paladins.)
Bob: (Bleep!)!
_________________
Gimli:Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas:What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli:Aye. I could do that.

Gandalf:Here at last, on the shores of the sea comes the end of our Fellowship.
 
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Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 1:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

*Shift to North-Northwest Tower of Borjin's Keep. Three Elves in dark blue outfits are leaning against a Titanium Security Door. Two have hoods and masks which hide their faces; the third, an Elfmaid, has a bare head and long red hair.*
Tenba Silvershade: That's the last of them.
Kitsune HeartStealer: Good. Now, can we please get a real misson? Stealing wives is so tame.
Youkai D: The Lord doesn't assign us these missions for your personal pleasure, Elfmaid. The Triad exists only to serve Lord Bluestar.
Tenba: You give us that lecture - *He is cut off by a massive explosion. At the same time, a cell phone starts ringing in Youkai's pocket.*
Kitsune: What in Helia's name was that?
Tenba: *sniffing the telltale odor of Fire Hammers* What in Helia's name indeed.
Youkai: *answering his phone* Hello? Lord Bluestar! Hm? A Paladin named Clarina? Not yet -- Kitsune, check the list.
Kitsune: *pouting* Check it for what?
Tenba: I already checked it, Youkai. There's no Clarina. In fact, there's only one couple left: Peasant #3 and Peasant #2.
Kitsune: *in disbelief* 3 and 2? Shouldn't they have been killed off long ago?
Youkai: Did you get that, Lord? Right. *He closes his phnoe and turns to the others.* Lord Bluestar wants us to investigate these so-called Peasants. He believes them to be enemy agents.
Tenba: SS agents, judging by the stench. I just hope they haven't knocked out the elevator with their pyrotechnics.
Youkai: *glares at him* Ninja don't use elevators anyway.
Tenba: Purist.

*Borjin's Keep, subfloor two, suite 3. The entire area looks as if one of Cooker's death-machines self-destructed there. There is a gaping hole that reaches up four storeys, and the remaining masonry is fused into charred glass.*
SS Solarus #1: *ripping off the charred remnants of the Male Peasant disguise* That settled them.
SS Solarus #2: Right. Now, let's go find these copies of Blessings to the Phoenix and Praise Dauros!
*As they start to leave the crater of suite 3, a dark blue shadow rises up in front of them.*
Youkai: Sorry, but you're not going anywhere.
SS Solarus #2: *enraged* One Elf? This is an insult to our fighting prowess!
Tenba: Three, actually.
SS Solarus #1: *turns around to see Kitsune and Tenba behind them* Still an insult. You're playing with fire!
*Both cast Sun Scorch, but the three Elves have vanished.*
SS Solarus #1: What the - ? *Sees a blue blur, and swings with her mace.*
[/b]SS Solarus #2:[/b] Ow!
SS Solarus #1: Sor- urk ... I ... am ... extinguished. *Collapses.*
SS Solarus #2: What - ? *Turns around to see Kitsune vanish upwards. The Solarus spins wildly around, but sees nothing other than several blue blurs.* Stand still, you perverts! Stop hopping around and fi-
*The screen goes black and a single slash cuts across it.*
Youkai: Futile. *Sheathes his sword.*
SS Solarus: No! Not that horrible deathline- *A mound of rock stirs ominously.* I ... am ... extinguished ...
Kitsune: *popping out of the shadows* Now that was fun. the triad strikes again!
Youkai: It's not over yet. *Points upward through the hole.* The DDN are assaulting the Keep. It'll be our job to prevent them disturbing the Grand premiere tonight.
Tenba: *also pops out of the shdows* What of it? A few Paladins are nothing to us.
Youkai: Very true. Triad, vanish! *They vanish.*
_________________
"Death awaits you!" - Maester Seymour, from Squaresoft's Final Fantasy X[i]
 
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Lurn



Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 226

 PostPosted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote Back to top

Then, the penguins came. They were gigantic, their beaks sharp, their eyes blood-red, and their wings those of death.

The twenty thousand penguins marched forward toward Borjin's keep, when the saw a large wave of one hundred Paladins rushing toward a scattering of heroes.

"Mmm! Tasty!" they screeched, their voices bringing terror. They waddled wildly toward the Paladins, screeching incoherently.

The first penguin opened it's beak, swallowing two whole Paladins in one bite. Another came forward, ripping a second Paladin to shreds. It quickly ate the remains.

The Paladins started to turn, and one sliced a demonic penguin through the middle. It disentegrated, but a blood-curdling growl was heard. It echoed across the country side, and as more demonic penguins were killed, the echoes of their death-cries was deafening.

But more often than not, it was the Paladins who were dying; some from the ever-growing noise, some from penguin beaks, others from penguin feet trampling them.

The DDN attack's most high-ranking officer looked grim. "If Cooker's death machine doesn't appear soon, these demonic penguins will literally swallow us all," she said, to no one in particular. The next-ranking officer said blandly, and with a little tremble, "Aye."
_________________
"It simply doesn't happen. Period.
Why is that? Question mark."


Last edited by Lurn on Fri Dec 03, 2004 4:13 pm; edited 2 times in total
 
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