Cyberlore Majesty Forum Forum Index Cyberlore Majesty Forum
Original Majesty Forum on Cyberlore.com


ToF: Free the Slaves
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5
 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Cyberlore Majesty Forum Forum Index -> 1001 Ardanian Nights
View previous topic :: View next topic  
The Archmage



Joined: 06 Nov 2000
Posts: 1822
Location: Wakarusa, IN; USA

 PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2002 6:08 am    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

The now giant Archmage roars.

Giant Archmage: WHERE'S MY SPELLBOOK?!!?!

Upon seeing how powerful his voice is and on how small all the other heroes are the Archmage grins, and shoves the rest of the bag into his mouth.

Giant Archmage: HEY, THIS IS KINDA FUN! WONDER WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I CAST A SPELL...

LOUD VOICE: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The Giant Archmage casts meteor storm, which sends a huge balls of fire raining the Palace that the Peasants are working hard to repair.

Peasant #34872: Aaaarrrggg! I was working on that!

Peasant #21897: Stupid wizards! The Palace was almost built again.

The Sovereign Jay clicks on the Palace and watches it's hitpoints sink lower. 250/750... 100/750... 25/750... 10/750.... 1/750...

SOVJ: EEEEEEE-ARRRRRRGGGGG!!! ARRRRCHHMMMAAGGGEEEE!!!!

Another loan ratman climbs out of a sewer.

Second Loan Ratman: If he can do it, I can do it...
 
View user's profile Send private message
Raistlin, Archmagus



Joined: 08 Jul 2001
Posts: 1805
Location: Krynn, Tower of High Sorcery in Palanthas

 PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2002 5:27 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Raistlin: No!! My mushrooms....

(Sighs and looks very sad. For about half a minute.)

Raistlin: Hey! Whatda those guys have??

(Starts walking toward Stoned Veteran Guards...Completely oblivious to the meteor shower...and the crumbling palace...and the Ratman...Huston. We have a problem.)

Raistlin: Hey, watcha got th-

(Stumbles over Ratman's tail)

Raistlin:HEY! NOBODY TRIPS RAISTLIN THE - uh... (small voice) Not-So-Powerful? Uh, yeah, NOBODY TRIPS ME!!!!

(Ol' Sly takes a shot at the Ratman...But mushrooms don't do great things for one's vision. His swing misses - badly - and he swings around in circles...just like a bad cartoon. He then procedes to fall down)

Raistlin: *Clutching head* Oh, my cranium...*High laugh* Cra-NI-um...heh, what a funny word....Cranium cranium cranium cranium....

(He goes on to sit and talk to himself...Um, I don't think this magus will be of much help...He's still arguing with the voice in his head...)
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Shifty Coindrop



Joined: 21 Sep 2000
Posts: 204
Location: Duncanville, TX, USA

 PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2002 6:27 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

(The Second Lone Ratman shrugs off the "attack" by Raist and turns towards the weakened Palace, brandishing his sword.)

Second Ratman: Squeeeak!
Pretty Cow: Oh no! We're going to have another blackout!
Wendy: Rrrrrrghhhhh...
Loralty: This is starting to become repetetive and tedious.

(Then a light bulb glows above TaleSpinner's head briefly before it explodes.)

TaleSpinner: (Shouting) HEY ARCHMAGE! LOOK! THE EASTER BUNNY IS UP AGAIN! (And he points insistently at the Ratman.)
Second Ratman: (Glaring at Talespinner) What the [BLEEP] are you talking about!? Do I look like the Easter Bunny!?
TaleSpinner: He thinks you do. (Points up at the Giant Archmage.)

(The theme to Monty Python's Flying Circus starts playing as the Ratman looks up at the Giant Archmage.)

Second Ratman: Oh Mommy...

(And then a giant sandal lands on top of the hapless Ratman.)

SPLOOOOOT!

Loralty: That was a brilliant idea TaleSpinner! How did you figure that exploiting Archmage's current loathing of furry animals could save the Palace?
TaleSpinner: (Status changes to Confused) Uhhh... I dunno.
Pretty Cow: (Status changes to Panicked) He hates furry animals!? Hide Wendy Hide!
Wendy: Rrrrraaaaaaghhh!!

(The Wendigo runs and ducks into a nearby Inn. Seconds later Peasants and Guards run screaming out of the said Inn.)

Raist: (Still looking up from the ground in a state of mushroom-induced hallucination) Wow... I can see the Sovereign through the sky... and who's he strangling right now?

[ 16 July 2002, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: Shifty Coindrop ]
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:17 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Cooker the mighty and his two dwarves were hauled across the sky. They landed on the inn, turning it into rubbles. leaving a shocked furry anmial amist the ruin.

After their "unevenful" landings, they sprint to the palace as the goggled down healing potions, and started to repair it.

3 dwarves did quick work repairing the palace ...

And updated it with a transport.

"Well lads, this troble is over, let's ride the wind and rid the land of the vail 3-headed creaturss !"
Cooker annonced
"Remember tremendos dmamage can be suffered in one haul. but it seemed to out range even best teleportation spells. So get some healing potion before trying it."

Cooker and his dwarves are then hauled, at a few hundreds of meter per second, on a couse towards slave pit from the transport in the palace.


Cooker yelled in the air:
"You are not made,
As I.
Rest upon winds of the wind
To fly"


A few second later, the ground rocked and dust where thrown into air, and the slave pit III suffered tremendos damage from three impacts. both parties lost hundreds of HP ...

When the dust cleared, what is left where 3 Heros with less the 10HP each (drinking potions) and a slave pit with 50HP, dead rat man and various minions littered the landscape.

rouges emerged from the pit, with a few HP each (also drinking potions) "What the HACK have appened."

LOL
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail ICQ Number
TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Tue Jul 16, 2002 11:10 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

(there is no noise from the heroes apart from the sound of several people retching at the same time)

TaleSpinner: (gasps between puking) I.. take.. it back that the Sovereign's swearing is bad.. There's NOTHING worse than Cooker's Poetry! (retches)
Falotar: (face pale) That was.. (cough) just.. a complete and utter.. (wheeze) abonimation of the .. (tries to form words but ends up doubling over again)
Pretty Cow: (looks around puzzledly) I thought it was pretty good!

(high up, even the Giant Archmage is affected)

Giant Archmage: (eyes unfocussed) Man, oh man - I feel faint...

(the Giant Archmage buckles at the knees in slow motion)

SovJ: (the slow motion transforms his voice into a long, drawn-out baritone) AAAAARRRRCCCCHHHHMMMMMAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Archmage collapses, and his gigantic head smashes into the half-ruined Slave Pit#3, reducing it to a complete wreck)

Url-Shekk: (all three heads howling) MY SLAVE PIT!!
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Wed Jul 17, 2002 12:30 am    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Url-Shekk head #1: Your slave pit ?
Url-Shekk head #2: Yes, My slave pit !
Url-Shekk head #1: No, MY Slave pit !
Url-Shekk head #2: No, MY Slave pit !
Url-Shekk head #3: OUR Slave pit !
Url-Shekk head #2: Not ours, but mine
Url-Shekk head #1: No, it's MINE

Url-Shekk argued with itself for hours about who the destroyed slave pit belongs to ...
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail ICQ Number
TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2002 6:08 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Giant Archmage: (slowly picks himself up) Oooo my head - it feels like there's a thousand spikes sticking into it.
Pretty Cow: (shouts upwards) There ARE a thousand spikes sticking into it - you've got Slave Pit#3 stuck on your head!
Giant Archmage: (reaches up and takes off the Slave Pit. He then starts to shrink) Huh!? (back to normal size) Hey, I am among the little people again!
TaleSpinner: (waving scythe) So what happens now?
Loralty: I believe that with the Slave Pits gone, we're supposed to eliminate Url-Shekk to complete this mission. Speaking of whom, where has he gone?
Wendy: Waaarrrgghh! (dives to the ground)
Pretty Cow: (looks around) Duck? Where?

(A huge sticky glob hits the group of heroes, sliming them into a paralysed state)

US Head#1: (truimphantly) Got you!
US Head#2: Yeah! No one messes with Url-Shekk!
US Head#3: (chanting) WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!

(The three rogues come up)

Shifty: (To Url-Shekk) Well, the whole slave pit business is bust.
Ytfihs: So we were thinking that we can start splitting the dough and then we'll be on our-

(A sticky glob hits the three rogues)

US Head#1: Bwahahaha! Fooooled yoooouu! Now we can keep the profits all to ourselves!
US Head#2: WOOO-HOOO!
US Head#3: (chanting) WEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS! WEEEE ARE THE CHAMP- hey, what's that noise?

(A group of people waving placards comes into view. The placards have the words, "We love Harry Potter!", "Quiditch rules!" and "My other broom-stick is a Hoover")

Rabid mob of Harry Potter fans: THERE HE IS!! THE ONE PRODUCING ALL THIS CRAPPY HARRY POTTER STUFF!!

US Head#1: Uh oh. (starts backing away)
Someone in front of mob: NO! WAITAMINUTE LOOK!!! IT'S FLUFFY!!!!

(screaming like a bunch of teenage fans, the mob surges towards Url-Shekk)

US Head#1: ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!
US Head#2: GET AWAY!!!!
US Head#3: LET ME DRIVE!!!

(Head#3 takes over the legs and Url-Shekk runs off, all three heads screaming, with the horde of Harry Potter fans chasing him. They all disappear off the mini-map.)

Royal Advisor: We are Victorious!
Shifty: Well, good riddance to him! Was getting sick of receiving orders from a three-headed glob-spitter!
Ytfihs: Yeah, and at least we have our share of all the gold we made from the bootleg Harry Potter merchandise sales!
Cherik: (looks disturbed) Ah.. guys, about our share of all that gold we made? Wasn't it in that cart which Fluffy just ran off with?

(a moments silence, just before two swearing rogues start chasing another rogue screaming in a high-pitched voice)

TaleSpinner: (frowns) What's gotten into them?
Loralty: I'm not sure - maybe it's a kind of end-mission rogue custom perhaps?

- The End -
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
TaleSpinner



Joined: 08 Sep 2000
Posts: 2018
Location: Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

 PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2002 6:30 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Epilogue:

TaleSpinner the Mildly Insane spent the rest of the day wandering around sulking because he still didn't have a guild. Eventually, under the demand of SovJ, the paladins reluctantly agreed to allocate him under their Guild roster, provided that only the 'Recruit Paladin' button was displayed and that he did not use their toilets, did his laundry seperately, slept outside, ate outside, lived outside and basically never ever stepped foot into the Guild.

He was evicted from the Guild a short time later after the Sov did a 'Call to Arms' and ended up teleporting the WoD and paladins into the same locker room in the Guild. After much swearing, smashing and thrashing from the Guild, TaleSpinner was seen exiting the guild complaining that his eyes hurt from seeing too much florescent pink wall-paper.

He is still wandering the minimap. He is still sulking.
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
Raistlin, Archmagus



Joined: 08 Jul 2001
Posts: 1805
Location: Krynn, Tower of High Sorcery in Palanthas

 PostPosted: Thu Jul 18, 2002 6:52 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Raistlin the Not-So-Powerful spent the rest of his days in...mushroom induced hallucinations. He's been all over the mini-map by now, claiming to be chasing after a certain master for revenge. He's still eating mushrooms, and has little gardens of his own...all over Forumia.

The one time he did try to stop eating mushrooms, it got ugly. The Stoned Veteran Guards refused to sell him any of their 'stuff.' Raistlin was depressed and inactive during his time off mushrooms. Soon after, he began eating and planting his 'magic mushrroms,' and is really very happy...

...Now, if only he could just get that annoying voice out of his head...
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
Cooker



Joined: 20 Mar 2000
Posts: 1710

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2002 5:00 am    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Cooker spent majority of his time riding the trebuchets to the palace and back. And of course, chanting as he did so. His "wonderful lyrics could be heard all over the ardania."

He did mananage destroying most buildings around the palace and almost reduce the palace to rubble again with his "missing" shots. However, accuracy proved to increase though time.

Now he run the business of hauling anything for a long distance with his dangerous machines. As the damage decreased, the business start competing with teleporting amulet in the market place.

So both site went into massive ad campaign. On the wall of market, sticked a poster of the destroyed palace and writes: "Flying breaks your bones." One the wall of dwarven settlements, sticked a poster of a skeleton on desert, wearing teleporting amulet, writes "What happens when you run out of mana in the middle of a trip" No one could break the stalement, so completion continues.
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail ICQ Number
Pretty Cow



Joined: 10 Jul 2001
Posts: 562
Location: Bothell, Washington

 PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2002 12:35 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Pretty Cow set out into the far reaches of Forumia, searching diligently for the duck Wendy had spoken of earlier.

Wendy dutifully followed Pretty Cow in his travels; but because he knew there was no duck, he became bored and developed a pancake obsession.

[ 19 July 2002, 01:37 PM: Message edited by: Pretty Cow ]
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address
The Archmage



Joined: 06 Nov 2000
Posts: 1822
Location: Wakarusa, IN; USA

 PostPosted: Sat Jul 20, 2002 6:17 am    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

The Archmage the Semi-Powerful returned to his Wizard Guild Deluxe Special Edition (with metallic, talking eye included) and there he formed REBF (Resurrect the Easter Bunny Foundation) so that he can search for his spellbook. The Archmage is currently leading rallies and is getting a petition signed so that the Sovereign Jay would resurrect the Easter Bunny. Meanwhile all of Ardania (including the Cyberlorians) are enjoying days without too many Archmage catastrophies.

=====================
SPECIAL ADVERTISEMENT
=====================
All REBF t-shirts are 30% off at your local inn!
Pick one up today and join REBF right now at a special discount price!

(This advertisement was sponsored by REBF and the Ardanian Advertisement Guild.)
 
View user's profile Send private message
Shifty Coindrop



Joined: 21 Sep 2000
Posts: 204
Location: Duncanville, TX, USA

 PostPosted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 3:57 pm    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

As for Shifty Coindrop and Ytfihs Pordnioc, they eventually caught up with Cherik of Keldern and spent a few minutes beating him up for daring to point out the financial setback they suffered. When all was said and done, they picked Cherik up off the ground and headed home towards the only Level 2 Rogues Guild in Forumia. But it seemed that Fortune was looking for a good laugh and the Three Rogues just happened to be in her way at the moment.

-----

Announcer: This is a CNN Forumia News Flash. We now take you live onto the scene with correspondent Sister Gloom.

(The scene switches over to Sister Gloom, and what appears to be a lynch mob behind her in midtown Forumia.)

Sister Gloom: Hello once again. I am here in midtown Forumia near the Royal Garden, where as you can see behind me a large crowd of Heroines have gathered in droves. It seems that in the wake of the vanquishing of Url-Shekk (bows head) that the main accomplices of the three-headed hound have been apprehended just as they were moving back towards their usual headquarters. Let's take a closer look.

(The crowd consists of a great percentage of Healers and Paladins, with a few Solarus here and maybe a few Elfmaid Dancers there as Sister Gloom and the skeleton camera crew move in closer towards the center of the gathering. There in the heart of it all is Eleanor the Vigilant and Clarina, Holy Reporter raising their swords in the air triumphantly. As well as Shifty, Ytfihs and Cherik hanging upside down on a rope from a tall post. Sister Gloom walks towards the Paladins and lifts the microphone staff.)

Sister Gloom: CNN Forumia. What can you tell us about the apprehension of the Rogues Guild members?
Clarina: We had started our daily Hunt looking for foul creatures of darkness to vanquish when lo and behold these miscreants came wandering down our way. In their exhausted state they were not difficult to apprehend. And while they have a long criminal record to begin with, we could make the arrest stick when we found this in their possession. (Lifts up The Holy Book of Dauros.)
Eleanor: Dauros has blessed us with his justice, and brought these *Perverts* into our grasp. (Turns towards the crowd) LADIES! THE TIME OF RETRIBUTION IS AT HAND!!

(The crowd roars into applause.)

Shifty: Here it comes...
Ytfihs: This is gonna hurt...
Cherik: I've already had my daily quota of beatings, thank you.
Sister Gloom: I notice that the crowds consist mainly of Heroines who have been targets of the Rogues' recent rash of Dirty Locker Room videos.
Clarina: That is correct. We sent word to their respective Temples... and Lounges not long after the apprehension of these foul criminals.
Sister Gloom: What will happen to them?
Clarina: They will be turned over to the Sovereign for proper law enforcement. Preferably a Rocketing or twenty. But for now, watch...

(The camera turns towards Eleanor, who opens what appears to be a reliquary the size of a treasure chest- okay, it's a treasure chest- and takes out a long gleaming stick that inspires an "Ooooh" from the crowd.)

Eleanor: (Lifting the stick into the air) BEHOLD! THE HOLY PIÑATA STICK OF DAUROS!! EVERYONE GETS TWENTY SWINGS!!

(The crowd erupts into a deafening roar that reaches all the way to the Palace.)

Venn: Your Majesty, it looks like the Rogues are going to be Piñatas in a moment!
Sov J: Really!? SETH! GET THE [BLEEP]-ING POPCORN AND COKES NOW!!
Shifty, Ytfihs and Cherik: (All together) ...mother.

(The crowd closes in, and even before the smackings commence the girlish shrieks of pain begin.)

Clarina: Although we are of opposing beliefs, I would like to invite you for twenty shots yourself.
Sister Gloom: As a reporter I must maintain objectivity.
Clarina: Even when we found this in their possession? (Takes out a yet untitled video box that shows Priestesses in red and really thin lingerie in their locker rooms.)
Sister Gloom: Is that twenty period, or twenty per Pervert?
Eleanor: Hmmm... Twenty for each sounds good to me!
Sister Gloom: (Turns towards the camera) This has been Sister Gloom with CNN Forumia. We now go back to the studio. (And then as the camera cuts off) Gimme that Piñata Stick, NOW!!

-----

Needless to say, after that and the subsequent Palace Rocketings (with Cooker's device) more time in the Temple of Agrela was needed for the Three Rogues. And drinking straws for the body casts.
 
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Falotar



Joined: 22 Jan 2001
Posts: 2579
Location: Yaro'on the Fair

 PostPosted: Thu Jul 25, 2002 1:22 am    Post subject: ToF: Free the Slaves Reply with quote Back to top

Loralty the Talkative One retreated to the rubble of his Temple. There he barricaded himself against paladins, Rogues, Dwarven ballistae, and the Seeker Branch (see below). When the Sovereign finaly got around to rebuilding the Temple, Loralty was buried deep in the mechanics section of the Library. Thus, when the new Temple was erected and upgraded to Level Two, a prominant anti-aircraft gun bank could be seen perched atop the main tower. Also, Loralty began plans for a soap-works. However . . .
Saturninus: . . . I therefore declare the said Loralty to be unfit for his post as Head of the Order of the Guardians of Dauros' Holy Relics. I further request that he be removed from the list of the faithful and marked as a heretic and an Enemy of the Laws of Dauros.
Grand Monk: So let it be written, so let it be done.
To further his plan to capture the renegade Monk (who had been charged, on top of everything else, of criminally neglecting his duties as Head), Saturninus urged the founding of a body of Monks dedicated to bringing down heretics. He, naturally, was at the head, leaving Omin in charge of the Seekers. To aid his order (which rapidly became known as the Inquisition), he used the abandoned torture devices from Slaves Pits 1, 2, & 3. Although the Grand Monk eventually pardoned Loralty in light of some of his more heroic actions, High Inquisitor Saturninus has been waiting for him to make another mistake.
Clarina: *scribbling furiously* Could you repeat that?
Saturninus: Loralty is a fool as well as a heretic. As long as he retains the position of a Templemaster - as long as he remains a Monk! - Dauros' order cannot truly prevail.
 
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Cyberlore Majesty Forum Forum Index -> 1001 Ardanian Nights All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Goto page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Page 5 of 5

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum